Local gang takes over streator mcdonalds

                 Whether it’s 9 a.m. or 11 p.m. you may have seen them while ordering your Daily Double. Sitting front and center to claim their territory, a local geriatric gang has taken over the Streator McDonalds. But these are not your average customers, exclusively ordering unhappy meals, this crew of ruffians means business. With Metamucil in their McFlurries, these vintage villains are bad to the bone!

                It started innocently enough, a morning bagel and bingo. A Senior member of the self proclaimed “Golden Goons” scopes out new unclaimed territory. His crew had been beefing with the “AARP Armada” and the “Silver Syndicate” for control over the local diners for years. With such a large elderly population in town, uncontested turf has become scarce. Six months later, you will see their whips, wheel chairs, and hover rounds parked all down the line.

                Gen Z has not taken lightly to the elderly moving in on their territory. Given the state of the economy, the younger generation spends more time ordering off the dollar menu than fine dining or  patronizing the local bars like previous generations. Walking in to McDonald’s today, an average customer will be in the center of a quiet hood dispute. The mix of young and old create a tension so thick, you could cut it with a McFlurry spoon, and the “No Cap, Cappers” have had enough.

                “Mc’Dees has been ours for years, I thought that was clear from the Travis Scott and Saweetie meals. Says one Capper. Another said: “That’s cap, fr fr, on god. They mad sus, I keep that thang on me. That sprite hit different, but that shorty Gretchen do be bad tho. I am finna yeet skeet on out here in the back of Granny’s Buick Regal.” Despite the divide among the two gangs, there are others who are trying to build a bridge between the generations. “Agatha has the hook up on coupons, buy one get one free, 2 for $3, the whole catalog! We hang out every Saturday to scan receipts for rewards.

                The McEmployees also unsure on how to handle the rise of unruly elderly people in their restaurant.  From foul language, heated arguments, to more frequent spills and cooperate complaints, the staff certainly has their hands full. “It’s become like a day care for old people. They should really invent a place to keep them all, like a jail for the elderly or something. I caught Edwin popping pills in the bathroom. He has so many prescriptions, the line at the bathroom is piling up!” Says an unnamed worker. “My job is to flip burgers and take orders, but they treat my like I am a waitress.”

                The elderly have their own litany of complaints as well, further raising the tension between staff and visitors. “Why is the floor ALWAYS wet?” Betty asks.  “The unsweet tea is too sweet” says Arthur. But despite the dissatisfaction on both sides, it’s a reality that everyone is going to have to get used to. With the rise in food cost, young and old are being brought together in an unexpected way, and it’s not likely to change anytime soon.

                At the end of the day, the streets are as cold as the McDonald’s fries. These Gangster Geezers are here to stay, at least for the next few months. The clock may be counting down for them, but keep in mind, your day will come sooner than you think. Next time you notice back pain while ordering your Mocha Frappe, just know it’s only a matter of time.

                Streator Mysteries is a nonprofit paranormal journalist organization. Our stories are based on independent investigations, anonymous sources, and eye witness accounts, thus should be taken with a grain (or shaker) of salt. For legal reasons we consider ourselves a “parody” news source, but the truth is out there if you are willing to look for it. Streator Mysteries, answering the questions nobody is asking.