Local Wal-Mart Employee Not Extra Terrestrial, “Just Weird”.

    “I saw him again today, it’s hard not to notice his gaze.” A local Wallie World customer says. But this customer is far from the only one to notice the strange individual lurking the Aisles of our local super center.

                One would not be blamed for assuming he is not of this earth, as everything about his appearance is unsettling.  The way he hunches slightly while he takes uneven steps, his mouth gapes as he draws his loud and heavy breaths, much like a creature stalking it’s prey. The dead look in his eyes, yet I am told this is common with retail workers. Studies show working in retail is akin to being in an active war zone, both groups suffer from the frightening 1000 yard stare.

                Despite the seemingly overwhelming evidence that he is no mere mortal, if you catch him watching you and pushing his glasses back up after sliding down his nose for the tenth time in a minute, you can rest assured that he is indeed human, and “just weird” according to senior management.

                Initial reports indicated that staff and customers alike felt “creeped out” by his presence but Wal-Mart Corporate assures us he his harmless. You may catch him wandering the Aisle or lurking in search of a female mate, but his lack of social skills and inability to read social cues is not because he’s not of this earth.

                “Yeah, I have worked with him for a while, I often catch him staring at me from across the store. Once, he snuck up behind me and I could feel him breathing down my neck. Sure, It’s creepy, but you kind of just get used to it.” An employee at the store tells us.

                Our sources say he is actually not unique. “Wal-Mart is kinda known for their atmosphere, and it’s not always considered a good thing.” A customer said. A brief search of “The People Of Wal-Mart” Seems to confirm this fact. The truth is, across the nation there are many employees very similar, but not all of them can be human. Just remember, odd behavior’s such as those described in this article can often be tell tale signs someone is merely pretending to be human. Next time you make a joke, and your friend doesn’t get it, someone one doesn’t pick up on social cues, or you have to tell a creepy guy that you are “just not that in you”, ask yourself, are can you truly be sure you are speaking with a human being?

                Streator Mysteries is a nonprofit paranormal journalist organization. Our stories are based on independent investigations, anonymous sources, and eye witness accounts, thus should be taken with a grain (or shaker) of salt. For legal reasons we consider ourselves a “parody” news source, but the truth is out there if you are willing to look for it. Streator Mysteries, answering the questions nobody is asking.