Army of snowmen suddenly appear in Streator, Frosty to lead insurrection at city hall!?

 Good morning STREATOR! It’s another wonderfully chilly morning in the state of Illinois. Citizens are bundling up, digging tunnels out of their home, and are preparing to scrape ice of their windshields. Schools, roads, and business closures are abundant as the town prepares for an extended snow storm. The local grocery stores are populated with stressed preppers getting last minute essentials. But the panic shouldn’t end there, as there is a bigger threat on the horizion. As it turns out there might just be another danger in the fields of snow, dare we say, a battle field of snow.

Adults and children alike awoke this morning to an unusually high number of snowmen inhabiting our snowy town. Drivers are reporting well sculpted snow people of various shapes and sizes, some even supposedly 8ft tall, on every street corner in town. While the appearance of the simplistically designed lawn decorations are not abnormal in and of itself, the sheer number of them have some locals worried. With the hazardous roads, limited visibly, and general lack of mobility have some paranoid conspiracy theorists point out a “perfect storm” for an invasion by an overwhelming force of organized snowmen.

While the average citizen might find this idea absurd, it’s hard to deny the potential danger an unchecked organized force that has local law enforcement at a disadvantage. While snowmen are rarely sentient and historically friendly, it easy to why some are concerned about their intentions. Years ago Frosty sacrificed himself for our sins and promised to return one day, but other Snowmen such as Jack Frost has a less than noble record. Some describe the mysterious snowman as nothing more than a loving father who wanted to see his family one last time, while others report a murderous monster intent on adding more lumps of coal to his belt.

It is important to remember there are a variety of other dangers in the snow such as freezing tempatures, black ice, the Yeti, and Wendigo, but true believers are quick to point out that they pose less of a threat than the overwhelming numbers of snowmen. With law enforcement slowed down by the weather and preoccupied with motor vehicle accidents, there is little resistance if the snowmen DID decide to wake up and organize. A unnamed law enforcement officer warns of a possible freezing, but mostly peaceful protest at city hall.

He goes on to explain that given the delicate political situation in the U.S. It’s easy to imagine the snowmen could rise up and demand equal rights, better working conditions, and end to global warming, and who better to lead them than the charismatic Frosty the snowman. Some people also point out if these protest were to become violent, we are woefully unprepared to engage this enemy in it’s natural habitat. Though it’s important to remember there has yet to be any word from the Snow People Community, or even any signs of life for that matter, however that can change at any moment because Frosty IS coming back, and he is pissed.

The world has change a lot since Frosty last visited and it easy to imagine he won’t be happy when he returns. He as children, with the gift of magic, but what do we have to show for it? Have we lived lives that he would be proud of? What have we made of the world he left us? Some wonder if the time of man has come to an end, and the time of snowman is here. Can snowmankind succeed where mankind has failed? Are we headed for another January insurrection? We don’t know, but I for one, will be at home with the heat cranked high and locked in my bathroom armed with a hairdryer if anyone needs me. Stay strong Streator. Stay Frosty.

Streator Mysteries is a nonprofit paranormal journalist organization. Our stories are based on independent investigations, anonymous sources, and eye witness accounts, thus should be taken with a grain (or shaker) of salt. For legal reasons we consider ourselves a “parody” news source, but the truth is out there if you are willing to look for it. Streator Mysteries, answering the questions nobody is asking.

                Streator Mysteries is a nonprofit paranormal journalist organization. Our stories are based on independent investigations, anonymous sources, and eye witness accounts, thus should be taken with a grain (or shaker) of salt. For legal reasons we consider ourselves a “parody” news source, but the truth is out there if you are willing to look for it. Streator Mysteries, answering the questions nobody is asking.