Newest Teen Trend: Splicing. What You Need To Know

                Let’s face it, the world has changed. Do you really understand your kids? Did we ever? Sometimes their trends are so strange that we wonder if teenagers are actually extra terrestrials, but that would make more sense than trying to follow the latest trend. I mean, what’s a Tik Tok!?

                Though most trends are harmless, gone are the days of ding dong ditch and other innocent pranks, kids today have moved on to a more disturbing past time, and it’s called “Splicing”. But what exactly is splicing, and what can you do to protect your children from this fad and it’s ever-growing popularity? Lucky for you dear reader, We are here to answer all your questions.

                “Splicing” refers to genetically modifying ones own body. Thanks to the completion of the human genome project, scientist today know more now than ever before about life on the molecular level. Kids are spending their lunch money, or some cases stealing from their parents, to pay for this procedure from shady back alley surgeons and genetic scientist in the area.

                From cat ears, lizard eyes, fangs and more, kids have a wide variety of “Splices” to choose from. “My boyfriend loves my neko neko ears” (whatever that means) Says a Streator High School Student. Another claims these splices can have more than just cosmetic benefits as well. “I had owl DNA Spliced into me, I can see much farther now. It really helps on the football field.” Another student said. Unfair advantages in sports aside, there are real ethical concerns here.

                “They say that it is completely reversible, but it’s unlikely in the case of modifying one’s DNA” a teacher at the school said. “I told a boy who was late to class to take a seat, and he just growled at me with his vampire fangs. It’s totally unacceptable.” The teacher later added. STHS has yet to comment on the growing concerns of parents, simply stating it’s a “legal issue, not a school issue”. No word yet from the Streator Police on any arrest of these nefarious geneticist and surgeons who operate and live within city limits.

                For now we recommend parents keep a close eye on their kids (owl eyes if necessary) and know who their friends are. Do you know where your child is after school? Because if you don’t they are likely experimenting with illegal genetic modifications. The only way to put an end to this dangerous trend is if parents stand up for their children and say “No!” to DNA modification.

                Streator Mysteries is a nonprofit paranormal journalist organization. Our stories are based on independent investigations, anonymous sources, and eye witness accounts, thus should be taken with a grain (or shaker) of salt. For legal reasons we consider ourselves a “parody” news source, but the truth is out there if you are willing to look for it. Streator Mysteries, answering the questions nobody is asking.