tHE wITCH OF wALGREENS

                  You instantly notice her stare when you walk through those automatic sliding glass doors. The kind of stare that sucks the soul out of our body, but that’s only because it actually does! It’s a long known fact that Walgreens in Streator hires Trolls and Goblins, so should anyone be surprised about their best kept secret?

The Witch of Walgreens, who we will refer to as “Ingrid” has been employed at the Streator store ever since it was nothing but a small hut built in 1886. Some even say the building was built around her shack on ancient Indian burial grounds, but we were not able to confirm this. It may be strange to some that a witch would want to work at a local pharmacy, but it actually makes a lot of sense, and we will break it down for you.

                The Cosmetics Department – Ingrid is well over 100 years old, but she dosen’t look a day over 60! This is all thanks to the wide range of cosmetic products available to her at the store. From skin cream to hair dye, it’s no doubt that she uses these ointments and lotions to hide those hideous wrinkles, warts, and dreaded bags under her eyes. She may not ever be able to recapture her youth, but she can hide her true age.

                The Pharmacy – Ingrid uses the pharmacy as her own personal potions lab. With access to hundreds of powerful chemicals and drugs, she is able to concoct even the most advanced elixirs with ease. From raising the dead to spells, incantations, and black magic, Ingrid puts her vase library of spells to use thanks to the resources the pharmacy provides her. Some even say she has been attempting to “create” a husband on company time, but one has to wonder what kind of creature would be able to commit to a marriage with such a creature.

                The Photo Department – This is where the work gets done. Even a witch has to pull her weight if she wants to earn a pay check, despite the spell and trances she puts on upper management, she still has to perform a minimal amount of work to stay employed. Using the photos submitted via customers, she is able to place spells and hexes on those who have wronged her, or on behalf of customers who know of the secret services the store provides. Not only that, but Ingrid has been known to steal the souls of those who process their photos in the store, which is believed to be how she sustains herself. In other words, she is a soul eater!

                We asked some other employees how they feel working with a mythical creature, and we were not surprised by what we were told. “Urgghh grug gurg” says the troll the store employs. He said a few other things we couldn’t quite make out before he grabbed his club and slinked off down the candy aisle. Another employee told us “She is a witch? I thought she was just really mean, but I guess it makes a lot of sense.” But to those who have worked in the store for a while, it’s an open secret nobody really talks about. The real question is, what is she bring in after taxes?

                When you are picking up your med, cosmetics, or just browsing the candy aisle, be aware of her steely stare. Much like Medusa, if her gaze catches yours, you may be paralyzed and become her next meal. Next time you visit the store listen for the shrieking laugh in the distance, the feel of the cold chill in the air, or the smell of potions brewing. And if you come across a mean old lady with a name tag roaming the aisles of the store, the very sight of which sends shivers down your spine, you just encountered the witch of Walgreens.

Streator Mysteries is a nonprofit paranormal journalist organization. Our stories are based on independent investigations, anonymous sources, and eye witness accounts, thus should be taken with a grain (or shaker) of salt. For legal reasons we consider ourselves a “parody” news source, but the truth is out there if you are willing to look for it. Streator Mysteries, answering the questions nobody is asking.